Be it a light in a fleeting moment, through our reflection, a sense of doubt can come and go. We stare out to ourselves, the tension that builds to ponder life’s reminisce questions. To see the unspoken complexities and questioning of our reality. When we try to drift away the uncertainties, we find grief standing in our own reflection. Katie Hernandez (she/her) a multi media studio artist from Texas state University understands the value of how time is an anchor that lets us sets in the emotions that we want to hold sacred to which we then can learn who we are.
I sit and chat with Katie in her sacred space, her bedroom. A colorful warm room filled with posters, art and little trinkets that make Katie an absolute delight. Discussing her accounts on her upcoming thesis, navigating art, the future and more.
How are you doing?
I feel good. Things have been looking up in terms of my thesis and the semester in general. I’m not sure if its because I’m entering my final semester in school, but I have a lot of hope for things to come. I mean there are some insecurities of finding a job or, wanting to be stable, but I still have this optimism. Overall things are going well both mentally in myself and my art practice.
What is most essential to creating work in your space?
I feel a lot more comfortable making artwork in my room than in a studio. A studio is more practical,but I have an easier time coming up with ideas and finishing a piece in my room. I feel freedom and no judgment. My room is is my favorite place so its only logical .
How did you navigate towards becoming an artist ?
That’s a good question hahaha. I’m not sure. I’ve been drawing for as along as I could remember. I grew up with Disney animated movies of their golden era. My mom, who’s a big movie person had so many movies on DVD and VHS. My sister and I would watch those movies all the time. Watching them made me realize that there is so much joy in something you make with your hands. I remember wanting to do that too. I remember getting the DVD covers and trying to redraw them. It took a lot of practice before I could actually recreate it and have it look good. I think from that point I wanted to learn how to do it on my own and I never stopped. I don’t know of the exact moment, but art has always been consistent through every stage of my life and it has grown with me. My grandpa, I believe is the only artist in my family that has a background in painting and drawing. He stopped doing it long before I was born and I never got to see that side of him. But he would have paint brushes in his office and I think a part of me, knowing that he didn’t do it anymore, I wanted to keep that going on.
Is that good answer? Hahah
There are no wrong answers haha you’re good
Okay
Art is a vast space that can center someones entire perspective of things that one never knew. I’m curious how does it feel to be in an institution learning about your art?
I think being able to have the opportunity to go to school, specifically for art, that really changed how I saw myself as an artist. Because before college I never considered myself an artist. I always thought that it was nothing serious and just a hobby, even though I wanted to pursue a career in art. Which is weird in hindsight, haha. Coming to college and majoring in art is what really allowed me to find my confidence in my style. Its been a fun time overall, playing with different mediums and themes. I don’t think I could have gotten to the point of where I am within my art if I hadn’t gone to college for it. You know being able to see reactions and getting feedback and having other artists and professors see my work has been very beneficial to developing my style. I’m just grateful I had that opportunity.
Looking at your older works such as “Can I Dream for a Few months More?” and “Home is With You” you have a very digestive style that illuminates hand crafted, structured stained delicacy. How did doing collage help with accumulating this space for further developing your ideas?
I’m not sure when I got the idea to use cardboard, but I’m an emotional person that sees value in a lot of things that maybe not everyone else sees value in. Yes it is trash, but it still holds memories. The cardboard that I use in my pieces were boxes that I used when moving into my apartment in San Marcos for the first time. So it still holds weight that maybe not everyone knows when looking at my work and that adds value to it. With the first piece, “Can I Dream for a Few Months More?” that was when I first started utilizing collage in my work and it was a turning point for how I made everything after that. It was based on feeling and what felt right, rather than having something readily planned out. I think collage is a special medium. It’s a good way of illustrating feeling, or raw emotions that can be harder to capture in other mediums. Which is why I continue to work in this way and piece things together with different motifs, colors and textures. I think its evolved more since those pieces and I can’t wait to see what it develops into.
You’re asking really good questions
Hahahah
For your thesis Sacred Uncertainty your work speaks about the notions of grief, self doubt, and questioning your faith. It made me ponder how much grief one has when you’re starting to lose faith in your religion. When did you start to feel that lose within yourself?
I went to private school from pre-k to 4th grade and at that point in my life that was all I knew. I was unaware that people didn’t believe in the same things because everyone in my class believed in God and we knew all the Ten Commandments, the12 disciples and we would take tests on religion. I believe this made me very sheltered as a kid. I wasn’t aware of other mindsets, or other perspectives of people with different religions and people who didn’t believe in general. When we made the shift from private school to public school in 5th grade, it was eye opening to see how different the attitudes in the kids were. Everyone was more, not aggressive, but there was this notion of you can’t just talk to anyone anymore. Because in private school I talked to everyone in my class, but once I moved to public school I think that’s where my anxiety and shyness took over. Only as I’ve gotten older have I come across people with different mindsets and lifestyles. I also realized this religion is not the only one that exists. Throughout middle school and high school, I continued to rely on God, but I also doubted that mindset of “everything happens for a reason according to Gods plan.” I was angry; why does everything have to happen according to His plan? What if I wanted to do something on my own, or if I achieve something, why do I have to thank God? It was me who achieved the work. Another thing that changed my perspective was dealing with loss of family members. It goes back to that saying (everything happens for a reason) when someone’s time is up. I questioned it. Well why did you have to take them away now? Why at this time? I still hold on to some of that anger today; it’s not as prominent as it was back then, but it’s all those things on questioning authority when I’m the one living my life. There is guilt I feel for having those thoughts because I still rely heavily on my faith, go to church, and pray when I’m scared, or anxious. So it’s a weird relationship where I have uncertainty about things but I still rely on it.
When you’re viewing your finished work as the artist is there this sense of relief you feel? Because you’re expressing work that is very vulnerable, but also relative to the audience.
There is definitely a big relief. It’s a relief to not only finish the artwork, but also to have a weight lifted off your shoulders when you didn’t even know you had that weight to begin with. When I was first starting out, I didn't realize I was using my art as away of coping with all the thoughts of grief and religion. When I finally pieced together why I felt good after finishing my work, it was the missing puzzle piece that unlocked how I made work going forward. There is that relief in finishing and getting to show it to other people. One of my goals is to have people look at my work and relate to it. Because maybe they’re having the same thoughts and can find comfort in it. In whatever way they interpret it. I think connecting through art is a beautiful thing.
How do you see your art evolving in the future?
I see myself going bigger with the scale and showing how powerful it is. Similar to how religious and Renaissance paintings are these big monumental things. With what I’m talking about in my art and questioning my religion, it could be a cool contrast to have. I still believe in my religion and I have faith, but I’m also very set in the questions that I have about it. I think putting my art to that big of a scale would get that feeling across. Sure, you could read it in my artist statement, but seeing it visually is more important. I do want to keep experimenting with material, unconventional things, lost and found objects. I’ve had a lot of fun experimenting with different things. I never know what I’m gonna make, really, and I just kinda, how do I describe it… have a broad idea and then its just a matter of how I execute it and what that turns into.
Well thank you so much Katie for sitting down and talking with me about your work
No thank you, it felt really good to talk about it in depth, haha. Thank you for thinking of me.
Well your work is so phenomenal and thought provoking that I needed to hear you say words… haha
Haha haha
To hear my thoughts about it ?
To hear your thoughts about it
Yeah thank you, and that’s always a nice feeling because that’s what I want. I want people to react to my art in whatever way that comes to them.
To hear Katie’s thoughts and expressions about the concepts of things like grief, self-discovery, navigating art its imperative that we can all think of things that are sacred. This emotional roundabout journey through Katie has solidified herself with expressing her most vulnerable to the acknowledging of letting go and creating freely. Her art is pictorial to the way one thinks about their most human moments of self expression and a solace discovery.
Find Katie's work here https://katieleigh.co/work
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